


(Not Your) Bitch

by shupadoop



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angry Higurashi Kagome, Angst, F/M, Idiots in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26184826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shupadoop/pseuds/shupadoop
Summary: I don’t think Kagome got as much character development as she deserved. I always hated the episode Return to the Place Where We First Met because Kagome makes her decision to go back entirely based on wanting to see Inuyasha with no regard for the other friends or the purpose she found in the feudal era. She also can’t know Kikyo will be laid to rest freeing Inuyasha, so it feels like she’s waiting for a dead-end relationship. I thought I’d give her some more perspective, and see what happens.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, InuYasha/Kikyou (InuYasha)
Kudos: 10





	(Not Your) Bitch

“You think I’m a bitch?”

“What? Of course not! Don’t be so stupid!”

“But that’s what you just called me.”

“Huh, wha-?”

“Just now, for letting Koga go. I think it’s so much easier to just placate him and let him think he’s powerful. Obviously he’s no match for you and you’re clearly taking it easy on him every time you fight over me. I didn’t think you should waste your energy on him, especially when you need that stomach wound to heal quickly so we can go after Naraku. But I guess that makes me a bitch, huh?”

Simply, Inuyasha was unaccustomed to being called on his bullshit. Kagome’s unnervingly placid stare fogged his brain. He felt as though she could see the movement of his thoughts as he scrambled for something to say that wouldn’t increase his vulnerability.

“I- uh-”

“Well? Do you think I’m a bitch or don’t you? I thought it was an easy question.”

“I DON’T THINK YOU’RE A BITCH, WHAT OF IT!? LEAVE ME ALONE!” He turned away from her, blushing violently. He wished she would stop looking at him.

“Inuyasha, you know I’m not interested in Koga, right? I’d rather be with you.”

His face grew redder. A long time passed before he found the strength to speak above the volume of his pounding heart.

“Ka- hey!” The others had already started to walk away, Kagome supporting the injured Miroku.

“Come on, Inuyasha, hurry up,” called Shippo.

With the others safely in Kaede’s care, Kagome headed toward the well that would take her to her own time.

“Kagome, you’re not really angry at Inuyasha are you?” squeaked Shippo, running to keep up behind her.

“Don’t worry, Shippo, I’ll be back soon. I’m just going to get some medicine. I know Inuyasha was just being pig-headed as usual. I just got tired of how rude he is to me.”

“He’s so stupid. It’s so obvious to everybody else that he loves you. He should learn to talk to you with some respect if he wants you to stay after we beat Naraku.”

Now it was Kagome’s turn to blush. Yes, he did love her, didn’t he? Everybody knew so.

When Kagome returned to the Feudal Era after dusk, she saw a familiar glowing deep in the forest. She followed Inuyasha’s voice until she found him and Kikyo wrapped in that lovers’ embrace she knew only briefly herself.

“Your life is mine, Kikyo. Not a day goes by I don’t think about you.”

Kagome knew she should back away, but envy nudged her forward to a better view. She had to work to keep her mind blank as she could, lest she admit to herself something she didn’t want to hear.

Eventually the two parted, and Kikyo disappeared into the forest. She never stayed long. She seemed to appear only to ensnare Inuyasha in her thorns and remind Kagome of her secondary status. As always she left without a trace save for Inuyasha’s too-calm expression as he spotted Kagome and realized what she’d seen.

She could no longer deny her own feelings. She was in love with Inuyasha and presumably everybody had known it except her. Her insides churned and pushed vile heat into her throat which she spat at Inuyasha as it came.

“I am so sick of this! I get it, you feel responsible for Kikyo’s death and you can’t forget about her, I don’t expect you to, but how dare you pick fights with me for being nice to men who do what you won’t? I am not at fault because Koga proclaimed his love for me, I didn’t encourage him. I told him I was taken by you, if you care to remember. And you immediately corrected him, because I guess you can’t stand the thought of being with me, huh? You only seem to remember my behaviour with other men when it makes you jealous, never the parts that out you in a bad light. Why should I even have to defend myself? Why shouldn’t I encourage a man to fall for me? You’re unavailable! You tell me to stay by your side, you look to me when you’re injured, you hug me when times are hard, but then you flip and act disgusted when someone mentions us being together. And you run to Kikyo whenever you catch a trace of her, without ever acknowledging the position you put me in. What exactly am I to you?”

He stared at her bewildered. Once again he felt too vulnerable to speak. How could he deny that he knew that she knew that he knew that she knew that he loved her? Or something to that effect.

“Well, what do you want from me?”

He wanted her to love him. But everyone who loved him died.

“I brought this medicine for you and the others. Please take it to Kaede’s hut. I’m going to go back to my time for now.”

Inuyasha managed a still-stunned nod.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, Kagome, back already? Did you forget something?”

“No, mom, I just think I should stay here a little longer.”

“So you didn’t have a fight with your dog-eared friend, then?” asked her grandfather.

“Just nevermind, grandpa!”

“Yup, they fought, that’s for sure,” said Sota as Kagome stomped away, clouds of anger circling her head.

She drew a bath as had become her custom when she went home. She poured a generous amount of bath oil - the kind that would burn Inuyasha’s nose on contact.

“I wonder if he’ll come get me this time,” she thought. “How can I stand to see him after this? When he feels pressured he still tries to claim I’m just his jewel-finder. If only I was, this would be so much easier. If only Kikyo didn’t keep disappearing. She clearly still loves him, so why doesn’t she stay? Then she could find the shards and I could stay here and be done with this mess.”

Of course this was bullshit; Kagome would be heartbroken if she could no longer be part of the team that would defeat Naraku. It was thrilling that her life had meaning beyond math tests, and the comfortable, but shallow school-girl friendships she had. But this was another thing her love-sick brain was not ready to admit to itself.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning at school her friends ran to greet her as usual.

“Kagome, we’re so glad you’re better from your Potocki-Shaffer syndrome!”

Potocki-Shaffer syndrome was a genetic disorder with a symptom list that included problems with vision, hearing, and most notably a distinct facial appearance. Kagome made a mental note to ask her mother to take over writing excuses before one of her friends bought a medical dictionary.

“Hey, it’s nice to be back!”

“So, what happened with that horrible, jealous guy? Did you dump him?”

“Well, … sort of.”

“Oh, no. You don’t mean you were … dumped?”

“I guess I was. He made it clear he can’t forget about his ex, so, that’s that.”

“If only Kikyo wasn’t around,” she thought. “Wait, what am I saying? Have I really become so cold? I guess jealousy isn’t a good look on me either. All this and we’re not even dating. What am I thinking?”

Hojo caught sight of the gaggle of girls and walked toward them.

“Higurashi! I’m so glad you’re here, I have something for you.” He pulled a handful of ginger out of his pocket, bundled in a red polka-dot furoshiki.

“Ginger?”

“Yeah, your grandfather said you were having horrible menstrual cramps. This should help! Make it into tea with some cinnamon and honey!”

When the internal screaming started to ease, Kagome triple underlined her mental note to speak to her mother about excuse-making.

“Say, Higurashi, we keep having bad luck, but I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Saturday. Maybe you’ll feel well enough this time.”

Kagome wasn’t sure what she wanted. To be with Inuyasha? To stay firmly 500 years away from Inuyasha?

“I haven’t ever really considered Hojo fairly, have I?” she thought. “I’ve always been too busy in the feudal era. He really is sweet. He’s not afraid to admit he likes me, he’d never two-time me. He’s been so kind despite my constant flakiness, the least I can do is give him a real chance.”

“Yes, I’d love to!”

Of course her curious friends interrogated her on the way to class.

“You’ve never said yes so eagerly before. Are you trying to forget about your ex?”

“Are you over him already? Did you finally realize you shouldn’t be with someone like that?”

“I’m glad you’re eager to see Hojo. You deserve someone nice like him, Kagome!”

“You’re right; I do deserve someone like Hojo.”

Saturday came and Kagome was giving herself a much-needed pep-talk before she went on her date.

“Listen up, Kagome. This guy has been very sweet to you. It’s not fair to go on this date and be wrapped up in thoughts on Inuyasha like in the past. You will be attentive! You will make interesting conversation! Got it?”

She threw on some kitten heels and a flouncy dress, and headed for the door.

She passed by the well on her way out and felt a little pull toward it.

“No, I will ignore it and keep walking! Why would I want to think of Inuyasha, anyway? It’s been more than three days and he would have come to get me if he planned to see me. He’s made his choice, I have a right to make one too.”

She met Hojo for lunch downtown at a trendy new restaurant.

“This place is great, they specialize in really healthy food. It should be good for your digestive troubles.”

“I appreciate his concern,” thought Kagome, “but does he think of anything else?”

As they chatted Kagome found it easier and easier to forget about Inuyasha for the afternoon. She didn’t know Hojo planned to become a doctor, though of course, it made sense.

“I love visiting my grandparents in the country over the summers. They have a beautiful garden that we tend together. We grow lots of healthy vegetables. I think for good health what you eat is so important. I’d like to grow more food to share, but it’s pretty much impossible in an apartment in the city.”

Kagome thought of the leafy pastures full of natural herbs in the feudal era.

“You’re lucky your family has a shrine. You have so much outdoor space.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

As they kept talking Kagome started to feel something was missing. She was enjoying her time with Hojo, but something wasn’t right. As angry as he made her, her feelings were richer when she was with Inuyasha. Something about her relationship with Hojo felt stale even though it had only started.

“You’re not being fair,” Kagome told herself. “Go out again and see how you feel then. What can you tell from one date?”

“I’d really like to learn more about medicinal plants too. The way shinto priestesses would have studied centuries ago. There was so much knowledge we’ve forgotten about.”

The flimsy barrier she’d put between her worlds crumbled. Kikyo was such a priestess. Kikyo knew all the medicinal plants and used her powers to keep villagers healthy. Kagome had no idea what could come at the end of the journey to vanquish Naraku, but the healer in her soul reminded her that it was her job to keep her village safe. Her era safe. She couldn’t abandon the past without making sure someone could take her place to find the jewel shards. There were no demons in her time and she was responsible for keeping it that way. But how could she go back now and face Inuyasha? If only he hadn’t asked her to stay, she wouldn’t feel so tied up in his heart. If only he hadn’t led her on to believe he loved her. If only….

“Hey, Hojo, I had a really good time today. I’m glad I got to know you a bit better, and I hope we can do something another time. But I have to be honest, I don’t feel a romantic connection. Can we be friends?”

“Sure, Higurashi. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I appreciate your honesty. It’s nice to speak with someone sincere.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I’d be happy to be your friend. Maybe the next time you’re free on a Saturday a few of us can try this great salad place that just opened. Your friends always seem pale when I pass by, maybe they could use some healthy food too!”

“Sure!”

In fact her friends were pale because at fifteen, talking to a boy was so scary the colour could instantly drain from a young girl’s face, but Hojo had time to learn that for himself.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Kagome packed her bag with all the medicine she could fit. “If we don’t need it soon, we will eventually.”

“Oh, Kagome, leaving again? Do you have everything you need?”

“Yeah, I think so. Say, mom, could you give my excuses at school? Grandpa is starting to run out of ideas.”

“Oh, don’t worry Kagome, I just got him a book of common ailments, he should be set for a while. I made sure to highlight some with erratic flare-ups and less visible symptoms.”

“Thanks, mom.”

She turned to the door, but paused, nervous to go through it.

“Is something else bothering you, Kagome?”

Yes, something was eating at her, but how could she explain it to her mother?

“You know, Kagome, I used to really worry about you on the other side. You do spend your time in the feudal era, after all. But one thing I’ve never doubted is that you have excellent instincts. Even as a child you had a knack for making good decisions, and keeping company with good people. I can see from the way you talk to each other that your relationship with Inuyasha must be a complicated one, but it’s also clear to me that he’d put himself on the line for your well-being. I remind myself of those things so I don’t worry about you as much. I’m sure you have difficult decisions to make when you’re over there, but I know you’ll do what you think is right,”

“Thanks, mom. I needed to hear that.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Kagome climbed out of the well to find Inuyasha peering into it.

“Here I thought you didn’t want to come see me again, Inuyasha.”

“I’m sorry, Kagome.”

“For what? Did you break another one of my alarm clocks?”

“What? No, I’m sorry for what I’m putting you through; I know it must hurt to see me with Kikyo. I’m sorry I can’t give myself to you like you deserve, but I owe her my life. And I’m sorry I yelled at you for being kind to Koga, even if he is a mangy piece of shit. Everybody I’ve cared about was taken from me. I didn’t want Koga to take you.”

“I wish I could have stayed home and let time pass and heal this wound between us. But we both know I have a job to do here, And I have friends here. For the moment I belong here. I know I can’t compete with Kikyo for your attention; for one thing, I’m alive. I can accept that, at least for now. In spite of everything, it’s nice to see you, Inuyasha. As much as it hurts, there is a part of me that longed to be close to you.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Kagome.”

“I love you, Inuyasha. I know you aren’t ready to say-“

“I love you too, Kagome.”

Her heart leapt into her throat. When did he realize this?

“I couldn’t trust anyone until you came here. I never laughed before you. But it’s not fair for me to laugh while Kikyo suffers. I can’t give myself to you, but I’ll stop pretending to hate the idea.”

“Will you stop calling me a bitch if another man flirts with me?”

“Yes.”

“Then that’s enough for now.”

Against her better judgement she took his hand. She knew it could go no further until Kikyo was at peace, but for now, she just wanted to hold his hand.


End file.
